There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.
Porkjerky.com
Gayer and Retardeder Than Two Autistic Guys 69ing
 

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Love Someone Tonight
Dear Delilah; Your Show Sucks My Right Asshole

By Puncturing Their Eardrums

Delilah is a syndicated radio Delilah is a syndicated radio hostess who devotes her show to love--ahhhhhhh. I think I am going to puke diarrhea. At first I thought she was a local radio loser because she gave a local address to send letters to, which I did as you will read below. But driving all throughout this great country taught me two things, Delilah is on the air everywhere and god damn if people aren't fucking losers all across this nation.

Her site is www.radiodelilah.com. Check it out, there's even a page displaying letters that she has read on her program. Her show is usually on between 6 and midnight and consists of her taking calls from people with relationship questions (i.e. Does he beat me too much?, Does he beat me too little?, Should I lose the weight? (yes), Should I ask her out?, Should I cut long ways or diagonally? (either way)) for Delilah to solve. She reassures them that their crappy lives aren't crappy and then dedicates a Michael Bolton song to them and a loved one. Thank god radio is not dead.

I have no idea why or how I first starting listening to her show, but I do know why I started writing her--because I didn't believe my fiction could top the true life stories and problems of those trailer whackos. As good as I feel these letters are, I don't believe they are as entertaining as the real-life problems and situations that are told on her show--those losers are crazy funny. The above letters along, with about 30 others, have all been sent into her show. Unfortunately, I have no idea if any of them have been read on the air, because I have never been able to listen to her lovey dovey touchy feely crappy show for more than 15 minutes before I get bleeding hives.

The freedom we americans should cherish most is our ability to openly express our desire to live in a country with true freedom someday.
There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.