More Fun Than Dismembering A Gaggle Of Hookers

Gallery->Dear Delilah->Apology From A Selfish Husband

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Delilah Main

Dear Delilah;

I write this letter as an apology to my wife, and as a warning to all listening. After years of marriage we found our lovelife getting dull. So, we turned to pornography for new ideas and arousals. We emulated scenarios, characters, positions, and acts that were on the videos. We happened upon a video featuring anal sex and it soon became my favorite and I wanted to engage in that act. My wife though adamantly refused. For months, I watched that video daily--each time pestering, annoying, pleading and begging for my wife to give in. To shut me up, she finally did.

Delilah, my wife and I found out the hard way that anal sex in pornography is more fiction and acting than other movies. That is, we found out that anal sex is not as glamorous as the movies make it out to be. The next paragraph is graphic, but I feel that presenting the truth will save many people the agony that we have gone through. So, please make your audience aware of our actions.

Upon penetration my wife broke into tears, and unbeknownst to us at the beginning, she also began hemorrhaging. In great pain my wife allowed me to continue. Within seconds the entire room, nay, the entire apartment filled with a reeking decay-like odor. Fecal matter was soon thrown everywhere--the bed, the walls, on my person, on my wife's person and everywhere else. The initial screams of my wife turned to soft sobs and whimpering. Then we both felt something of hers rupture. She let out one single shrieking scream and tried to continue to scream, but was unable. She was unable to breath she was in so much pain, instead she let out gasping squeaks as her face clenched in pain as she attempted to scream.

Then the blood came. Unable to clench to stop the bleeding and because we were unable to apply direct pressure to the bleeding area, my wife just drained. In short, my wife is one of the few woman to have an episotomy for reasons other than childbirth, she has 5 internal stitches and 8 for the episotomy, had to receive 4 pints of blood, is on a liquid diet, and I feel like an abusive husband for pressuring her to do this.

Delilah, please let your listeners know that AIDS and other std's are not the only dangers associated with anal sex.

Thank you,

Rus A Joncless

I'm so much of a non-racist that I always make sure to go out of my way to make every black person I meet know that I think they are one of the good ones. Whether its true or not. They appreciate that.