Literally Ironic

Gallery->Dear Delilah->No Longer A Rapist, But

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Delilah Main

Dear Delilah,

Last night, at the end of your show, I asked my girlfriend to marry me--she said yes!!!!. I am the happiest man alive.

W we stayed up until 5 in the morning expressing our love and talking about everything. We asked and answered each other taboo questions and honestly answered each and everyone, and still love each other. But, even though she didn't ask me about it, I feel like I have lied to her about my past. Technically, I am a convicted rapist and child molester, but that does not make me a bad person. I just hope Rose can see it that way. Let me explain.

In the early 70's, I was a terrible drug addict-LSD, marijuana, cocaine, heroin, acid suppositories and anything that I could somehow get into my body. I went over all of this with her and she still loves me and has forgiven it, but I did not tell her what those addictions made me do to support them. At first, I started an underground child pornography magazine--let me get this straight--I never molested any children, I just paid them to molest each other and take pictures of it. This eventually landed me in jail for 10 months.

After getting paroled I swore off kiddie porn. Unfortunately I didn't swear of drugs and returned to that lifestyle, and soon was in debt to my pusher for $10,000. He offered to erase my debt if I would rape his ex-wife. I got high and did it, she didn't even report it. This turned into a profession--rapist for hire. I would rape and sodomize my friends ex's. Luckily, mostly because of the crowd I ran with, business was good. That was until I was caught and served 1.5 years on multiple charges. Since February 6, 1974 (the day I was released) I have been a model citizen, and am proof people can change. I just hope Rose will see it the way I, and hopefully you, do.

Could you please read part of my letter on the air and give me a sign if I should tell her or not. Leave out all the details of my background and play that shitty version of 'When a man loves a woman', by Michael Bolton if I should tell her. And if I shouldn't, the one by Percy Sledge.

What should I do?

Earl J Culssons

Black eyes, cigarette burns, broken bones, born addicted to crack, white supremacy tattoos: None of those come close to signaling that you're a horrible parent like having a fat kid.