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Gallery->Dear Delilah->Invitation To Utopia

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Delilah Main

DEAR DELILAH:

AS I LOOK AROUND THIS WORLD I SEE MORE AND MORE SIGNS THAT THE APOCALYPSE IS UPON US. AS A REASONABLE PERSON, I ASSUME YOU SEE THE SAME SIGNALS OF GOD'S 2ND COMING. WHAT I DONT UNDERSTAND IS WHY YOU WASTE THESE PRECIOUS FEW HOURS BEFORE ARMAGEDDON BY SPINNING RECORDS AND FILLING HOURS OF DULL AIR TIME. BUT HAVING HEARD YOU SPEAK, I KNOW YOU ARE ONE OF US, THE CHOSEN ONES WHO WILL LIVE AND REPOPULATE THE NEW EDEN. THIS IS WHY I WRITE.

I INVITE YOU TO LIVE IN MY GROUP'S SHELTERED HOME IN MONTANA WHILE THE APOCALYPTIC CHANGE IS UPON THE WORLD. OUR AREA IS A BLESSED ONE, ONE THAT IS PROTECTED FROM GODS IMPENDING WRATH. FROM THE SYMBOLS I HAVE WITNESSED, I BELIEVE HIS WRATH IS VERY NEAR. WE HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH FOOD, WATER, CLOTHING, DEFENSIVE SUPPLIES AND FUEL TO SURVIVE WHILE THE LORD CLEANSES THE EARTH. PLEASE ACCEPT MY INVITATION OF REFUGE UNTIL EDEN RETURNS.

I KNOW THE NEW WORLD ORDER HAS EYES, EARS AND MIND READERS ALL AROUND INTERCEPTING OUR THOUGHTS AND COMMUNICATIONS. THIS IS WHY I FAX THIS LETTER ALONG WITH THE FAKE ONE THAT FOLLOWS BECAUSE THE UN TRACKS ALL MEDIA INCLUDING PHONE AND FAX TRANSMISSIONS. I HAVE SCRAMBLED THE FAX TRANSMISSION SO ONLY YOUR MACHINE WILL RECEIVE ANY LEGIBLE COMMUNICATIONS.

OF COURSE, THAT IN ITSELF WILL TIP OFF THE POWERS THAT BEE AND THEY WILL COME AND ASK FOR ALL COPIES OF YOUR TRANSMISSIONS THAT CAME AT THIS DATE AND TIME. THIS IS PARTLY WHY I ATTACHED THE FAKE LETTER FROM MR. JANSURS. THAT LETTER WILL ALLOW YOU TO DESTROY THIS ONE (WHICH I ENCOURAGE YOU TO DO IMMEDIATELY) AND SUBMIT TO THE WORLD POLICE THE OTHER ONE TO PROVE TO THEM THAT A 'REAL' LETTER WAS RECEIVED. FURTHER, BY FOLLOWING THE FAKE REQUEST OF MR. JANSURS YOU CAN COMMUNICATE TO ME THAT YOU DO IN FACT, ACCEPT MY INVITATION FOR SALVATION.

SO, TO RESPOND TO ME IN THE AFFIRMATIVE--FOLLOW THE REQUEST MADE IN THE FOLLOWING PAGE TO THE LETTER

GODS SPEED UNTIL EDEN IS REBORN,

NOAH

Dear Delilah,

I love you and your show, and never miss an episode. You see, I am an OTR (over the road) Truck Driver. Many people don't think that us drivers like shows like yours, but the fact is, you have somewhat of a cult status with us. Being on the road so much takes us away from the ones we love, and by listening to your show and knowing my loving wife does just brings us closer, no matter how many miles are between us. I know many drivers, like me, who turn the C.B. off and the radio on when your on the air. I just wanted to say thank you for being there for us and everyone else who can?t be with the ones they love for whatever reason.

If I may, I would like you to request "our song" for my wife. It's "Unchained Melodies" by the Righteous Brothers. If its not too much trouble I was wondering if you could play it at exactly 8:15 pm central time on Saturday the 27th of September. Its just that at the time and date 25 years ago I said I do to the woman I never want to be without. The ironic part is that I will be without her (temporarily) on that night and weekend. I'm driving to Tulsa on to deliver some femine products to a ladies correctional facility and won't return until late Sunday.

Thank you for everything,

Cleo S Jansurs

Go fuck yourselves with a pile of pine cones.