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Gallery->Dear Delilah->Unhappy Pre-Op Transexual

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Delilah Main

Delilah--

3 years ago I was alone, depressed, mad at the world and myself. I couldn't make new friends and was terribly lonesome. I really can't explain it, but somehow I reasoned that if I were to become a woman--people would like me more and most of my problems would be taken care of. I convinced myself of that old cliche--that I was a woman trapped in a man's body. When the real truth was that I was trapped in depression and my genitals had very little to do with it.

I began to take estrogen, had plastic surgery in 7 areas, and underwent 600 hours of electrolysis. Now though, I just don't know if its a mood swing, or what, but womanhood is not the cure-all I thought it would be for me. I was to go under the knife in January for the real conversion, but now I know that a vagina isn't going to win me friends.

So now I am stuck between good looks, great breasts and a penis. I am a she-male; a freak of science. I have made my original condition worse. Instead of very few people liking me, no one does. Everyone hates she-males, normal men and woman look at us as freaks, gays and lesbians hate us for supporting a negative stereotype of them, and as a whole she-males are so miserable we hate each other because of jealousy.

Delilah--I could care less what sex I am, I just want to be loved and to have friends around.

Why can't they give me a pill or surgery for that?

Nora J Cussels

Good luck shaming me; I pride myself on how unashamed I am about how little pride I have.