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Gallery->Dear Delilah->Lonely Too Long

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Delilah Main

Dearest Delilah,

I just got parolled for a petty crime i didnt commit, and after 3 years in jail, am having a hard time meeting new people. I had to move out of my old neighborhood, and state for that matter, because the laws there required me to notify local authorities for every city i wanted to live in. Therefore, I am pretty lonely and in need of some horizontal action.

So if you could make up one of those fake letters that you read on your show up for for me that would be awesome. Make it about how my girlfriend just died or something and i am lonely and am looking for someone to get on with my life with. Or whatever, anything as long as it helps me meet chicks. Or maybe you can set me up with some of those lonely desperate horny chicks that write in about needing a man.

Its been so long that I'll even bang a fat, ugly bitch. It dont matter.

Thanks a ton,

Leo R Scanjuss

Actually no one died and elected me god, I usurped it.