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Delilah Main

Dear Delilah,

I am in a pickle. My wife recently beat me to the mail box and got one of my discreetly packaged boxes. She opened it and found 3 gay pornographic videos. I thought quick and said I was going to surprise her with them and we could learn from them, but I ordered straight videos. I pretended to be irate and disgusted at the company's mistake. She bought my act, but wasn't pleased with the idea of watching any porn.

My pickle is that the homo smut that she discovered was in fact, a correct shipment. I am addicted to gay pornography. It is so exciting, interesting and fascinating. The reasons I watch it are not sexual at all, I just thoroughly enjoy it, its so different from any sex video, or any other movie, I have ever seen. I'm as straight as an arrow, and would never even consider indulging on such a sick and morally reprehensive act. Its just that I really, really like watching others partake in it. Its so amazing. I just can't explain it, you need to rent one and watch it for yourself what these men do.

My collection is very modest, but growing. And that is what concerns me. One day I know my wife will finally discover the truth and I think she won't understand why I have so much gay porn. She'll probably think I'm gay, and won't listen when I tell that the fact of the matter is that I am a big fan of such art.

Any suggestions?

Lance S Jossur

God, government or girls--nothing is more illogical than you trying to apply logic to entities that have shown they don't use logic.