porkjerky plogMetafeces
The Calculus Of Really Fucking Disgusting
Here’s a deeply philosophical question that I don’t think has ever been posed and you might not like the answer to:
How much more money would you want to eat a turd from someone else than one of your own?
Now let’s jump past the holier than thou part of this discussion where I have to prove [...]
Art De Mon Derriere
I use public restrooms to show my wit
Poems, drawings, etchings done as I sit.
I think its art
Straight from my heart
Especially the landscapes, done with shit.
Fuck Mud Pies
Who wants a peanut-filled, chocolate funnel cake?
Only You Can Prevent Fecal Incontinence
I know it can get discolored and AMA recommends you bleach it so you can retain that healthly vibrant asshole you had when you were 18, but what about its elactisicty? I mean we all heard, or started, that story in high school about the girl last prom who got fucked with the base [...]
Father Knows Best
My father, who’s full of great advice and wit;
Said we’re gonna talk about love and to sit.
Call me old fashioned,
Maybe unpassioned;
Son, true love doesn’t make you eat a girls shit.
Polyanusism
I would much rather have 5 assholes than 2 appendices. Come on that’s a no brainer.
1. An appendix is gut candy, belly dressing. It does nothing.
B. Strike that, it does do something and it’s a bad thing. The only confirmed purpose it serves is to get infected and threaten your [...]
Down Shit Creek
Where do my piss and shit go? I understand the theory: when I get around to it and flush the toilet my poop and pee snake through my house on a stream of water, through pipes and out to the sewer and then to some waste treatment center in the poor part of town.
But [...]
Roses And My Ass Are Red, Violets Are Blue…
I once had an awesomely hairy tush
A candy binge left me straining to push
A turd of gummy bears
yanked all my anus hairs
Thus the end of my beautiful ass-bush.
You Should Have Seen The One That Got Away
She was the length of an oarsman’s row if she was an inch I tell ye. And thick as a turret to boot.
This was my Moby Dick. Holy crap. I first noticed this beast at 2 in the morning. Rumbling, tumbling, churning and convulsing. Oh, it would be fight for [...]
Painful Poopy Poetry
A piece of shit was once in my ass
A turd I thought I would never pass
scratched the length of my gut,
tons of blood out my butt
When did I swallow a piece of glass?
