Welcome to my plog.
Every day millions of stuipd cockshafts like yourself figuratively eat boring shit up in the form of blogs. You halffucks not only read, but actually care about the opinions of faceless others. In turn, you validate those pieces of shits’ opinions and encourage them to spew more crap out onto the web. Its a vicious, loserish cycle of pablum: They write shit, you read and comment on it, which in turn inspires them to write more shit and the circle of jerk has completed, bukakking up the web for the rest of us.
What are you still doing here? You actually read blogs don’t you? Jesus fartfucking christ. Honestly, what do you get from it?
Hey wow, this guys has a real insight into the underlying themes and tomes of ‘King of The Hill’… Finally I found someone in the world who shares my distaste for how commercial pop music is… You know, I never thought about how we do park in a driveway and drive in a parkway… And my mind is totally fucking blown with your similarities between Lincoln and Kennedy’s deaths… Maybe the U.S. government really is behind 9/11, Clear Pepsi, rural electrification and the socks I lose in the dryer.
Lick my dingleberried cockshaft. No one gives a third of an aborted baby about your mundane observations. You are not impressing anyone by discussing the differences between coincidence and irony nor are you a genius for figuring out that Alanis Morissette’s song contains no examples of its title. Fuck you. Only like minded simpletons care.
The real kick to my balls, though, was learning that some shit eating bloggers actually collect advertising money for their thoughts on bullshit no one with 1/3 of a brain cell cares about.
Obviously I wanted in on the action.
So, after seconds upon seconds of deep reflection, soul searching and jerking off into a crap-filled toilet, I thought to myself ‘Why stop at figurative shit? These dumb motherfuckers are so motherfucking dumb that I am certain the dumb motherfuckers will eat literal crap up too. Figuratively that is. And to top it off, all the while I will tell the dumb motherfuckers how motherfucking dumb they are and the dumb motherfuckers will still think this site is great.’
You dumb motherfuckers.
So I got a camera and decided to pull a blog out of my ass. For one year I will be chronicling my crap. I will shit, take a picture of it, post it along with amazingly pithy and witty comments and then revel in my own geniusocity. It wasn’t Mark Twain who said ‘No one ever went broke underestimating the taste and intelligence of the general population’. Please continue to prove that saying right.
You dumb motherfuckers.