porkjerky plogBlogs Suck Ass
Video Blogs: The Future Of Boring
Lord, o’fuck, cunt almighty. Me and my great ideas.
There I was, laughing my head off, enjoying my favorite pastime of watching serious injuries videos on youtube, when genius hit. Or more accurately–now that I know the results–when ungenius hit.
I interrupted my motorcycle tricks gone bad video and immediately decided to [...]
Pompously Misinformed
As with wine, my pallet is not refined enough to distinguish among the many flavors of retard: Aspberger ’s, mental retardation, PDD_NOS, autism, fucking retarded, down syndrome, Fragile X syndrome and just plain stupid. All of those, my pedestrian, uncouth brain processes as ‘retarded’.
I blame the public school system and my parents [...]
Web Middlemen
Fuck blogs. Seriously, fuck blogs. Sister-fucking, middlemen of the internet.
Last week I found a divorce blog that was shittily written by a person you could tell thought themselves a good writer. They knew how to spell, had a big vocabulary, knew the rules of grammar and knew how to string phrases together, [...]
Our Collective Bipolarishness
If yesterday’s post showed us anything, it’s that people love to tell you that they love and hate stuff. No matter how hypocritical or obvious it should be. With blogs, the internet is turning into a constant stream of our collective conscious. And that’s nothing to brag about.
On average, we are [...]
Blogs’ Love-Hate Relationship With Themselves
With 100% of precincts votes tallied here are your results for phrases appearing in blogs. I am both dissappointed and disinterested.
I hate…
I love…
myspace
214,405
111,227
facebook
64,768
83,346
livejournal
47,721
169,566
twitter
18,119
92,499
blogs
102,622
85,243
blogging
57,826
335,999
the internet
533,210
1,829,471
And remember, if you didn’t blog, you can’t complain. Your blog makes a difference. Blog the vote, blog or die, blah blah blah, who gives a fuck.
Divorce Week Denouement
There are just way to many divorce blogs to point and laugh at in a week. I like to think that the next Lorenna Bobbit, Nicole Simpson, Lacy Peterson or even Brin Hartman is out there right now spilling her guts to the internet ether about how her marriage is falling or has fallen [...]
Retards Say The Darndest Things
You do realize that the ‘www’ in front of the url your blog on means ‘world wide web’ right? Your story doesn’t have to be that way. You do realize that you control that fact that I am able to read and use your own writings to mock you right? They make books [...]
Post-Marital Sex
In a couple manners of speaking, it’s hump day on divorce blog appreciation week at the porkjerky.com plog. Let’s see what kind of stories we can find about people not letting something as stupid as their divorce get in their way of fucking someone they couldn’t wait to get rid of.
I’m pretty sure, unlike them [...]
The Watching Paint Dry Divorce Blog
It’s still divorce blog week on the porkjery.com plog. That’s right, take some time out of your busy day to look at pictures of my shit, be amused by the general idea that tons of people actually want to share their divorce with the world and be endlessly entertained by the specific stories these dipshits [...]
Do You Like Pina Coladas?
Fuck you and your intellectual uppitiness. I unapologetically and without embarrassment love reality TV shows. Double fuck you to all you pretentious fucks who claim to not watch TV at all. I even love the obviously scripted reality shows—I can suspend my disbelief like nobody’s business.
There’s something about knowing that people’s actions don’t exist [...]
