The Watching Paint Dry Divorce Blog

It’s still divorce blog week on the porkjery.com plog. That’s right, take some time out of your busy day to look at pictures of my shit, be amused by the general idea that tons of people actually want to share their divorce with the world and be endlessly entertained by the specific stories these dipshits [...]

Hi, I’m A Douchebag

I get queasy at the sight of blood, so please somebody please slit my wrists for me. I got an email today from some pretentious fuck. How did I know they were a pretentious fuck? They told me.
Not in so many words, but in so many letters. Their email signature said [...]

It saddens me that the most appropriate response to people like you in a situation like this has become an overused, hackneyed throw-away phrase. Although we have all heard it at least 4 times today just in passing, please allow me to say it one more time with heartfelt earnest and every fiber of my being behind it: Fuck you.