porkjerky plogAll Pooped Out
I have an absolutely irrational fear. Far more frightful than my fear of popular success.
Luckily this ultimate fear of mine has a zero chance of happening. It still keeps me up at night though. I am totally terrified, even speaking about it makes me cringe, that somehow, someway something I say or do [...]
Blogs’ Love-Hate Relationship With Themselves
With 100% of precincts votes tallied here are your results for phrases appearing in blogs. I am both dissappointed and disinterested.
I hate…
I love…
myspace
214,405
111,227
facebook
64,768
83,346
livejournal
47,721
169,566
twitter
18,119
92,499
blogs
102,622
85,243
blogging
57,826
335,999
the internet
533,210
1,829,471
And remember, if you didn’t blog, you can’t complain. Your blog makes a difference. Blog the vote, blog or die, blah blah blah, who gives a fuck.
Blogging Obliviously
The Stay Puff Marshmallow Theory of Shitty Blogs is alive and well. Any stupid idea you can think of for a blog—it already exists. Don’t believe me? Check out these retarded blogs.
Amish America Blog
Blind Access Blog
Homless Blog
Illiteracy Blog
Mensa Blog
Hey MENSA, if you if your so smart why do you have a blog? [...]
Altruism For Sale, Dirt Cheap
The one thing that never fails to bring a smile to my face when it comes to blogs is how quickly they get sold out. No matter how altruistic the topic or noble the intentions are when they get started, everyone tries to make a dollar from the shit they puke onto the internet. [...]
Pompous Fucks
Its about time. All my life I have been waiting for this and finally it has been delivered to me. I can now die in peace.
35 and a half years I have been on this earth and not until now could I watch some fat dude in Spokane plow his ugly wife. [...]
CNN, The Reverse SETI
CNN is a smoke alarm with dying batteries. Except less useful, more annoying and neither saves your life nor adds anything meaningful to it.
Remember the last time the batteries in your remote went out? You did what any normal person would do, you lived with it for the first couple of [...]
Watch Me Watch
Good idea retardfuck, lets see exactly how far we can beat this into the ground. This is my reaction text to your reaction video of other people doing stuff. Hopefully someone will have an interpretative dance reaction to my reaction text to your reaction video of people doing stuff. Then, god willing, [...]
Amazingly Amazed
I am amazed at my ability to be amazed at how shitty blogs are. I started this whole crappy section of my site as a tribute to and an example of how horrible blogs are–My whole fucking premise was that blogs suck shit. However, week in and week out I am actually awestruck when [...]
Building A Better Money Trap
Here’s what I mean: Some fat cunt’s blogfomercial.
It’s a one page site, made to look like a blog. Well technically it is a blog, except for the one page thing and set up for the sole purpose of selling bullshit. This is how humanity is spending its time? Setting up these shitty [...]
The Real Swine Flu Epidemic
I hate to keep raping a dead horse, but I just stumbled upon something terrifying about swine flu. Its growth rate is alarming, look at these numbers:
3 years ago:
3 cases
1 year ago:
62 cases
1 month ago:
1,634 cases
1 week ago:
10,278 cases
1 day ago:
1,457,942 cases
And by ‘cases’ [...]
