Archive for November, 2009

I Don’t Need No Fancy Book Science

How many autistic people do you personally know? Excluding Jenny McCarthy’s son (which I am excluding not because I don’t personally know him, but because he’s cured - take that gluten), mine is 0. I’m guessing yours is within 1 of that.
I’m not entirely convinced any exist. I think its just a [...]

Pompously Misinformed

As with wine, my pallet is not refined enough to distinguish among the many flavors of retard: Aspberger ’s, mental retardation, PDD_NOS, autism, fucking retarded, down syndrome, Fragile X syndrome and just plain stupid. All of those, my pedestrian, uncouth brain processes as ‘retarded’.
I blame the public school system and my parents [...]

The 500 Mile Per Hour Crap

I hate planes, but don’t have a fear to fly
It’s the constant stream of fucks who pass by
    Couldn’t crap at the hub
    Now They’re joining the club
Everyone wants to shit a mile high.

Poop Bucks Splashdown

I think its been over 3 weeks since I brought this up, and since you’re not anywhere near being a fucking genius you probably need constant reminding so that you continue to retain this thought in that feeble brain of yours.
So here it is: I’m a fucking genius.
This instance of my geniusocitinessish [...]

The Turd That Wouldn’t Flush

Speaking of Snoopy and peanuts and people pouring out shitty drivel to the web, Charles Schulz’s comic was as worthless as the undigested legumes in my shit.
Even from a young age I realized that there was nothing good in it. I mean, I probably, like most of the world, read over 2000 Peanuts [...]

Web Middlemen

Fuck blogs. Seriously, fuck blogs. Sister-fucking, middlemen of the internet.
Last week I found a divorce blog that was shittily written by a person you could tell thought themselves a good writer. They knew how to spell, had a big vocabulary, knew the rules of grammar and knew how to string phrases together, [...]

Porn Paradox: There is no ludicrous type of porn: 'Cow Raping Porn', 'Dead Haitian Porn', 'Trombone Player Porn', 'Oatmeal Porn'. Guys/gals exist who get boners for one or more of those. Self-Fulfilling Porn Paradox Corollary: By proxy, any porn that arouses no one; arouses someone by the mere idea that no one is aroused by it.