The Miracle Of Turdbirth

Some times, when the lighting is just right, you situated yourself in the correct position, the stars line up perfectly and you’re willing to get a nose full of ass; you can watch the turd you are crapping inch its way out your butt.

Its like watching the miracle of childbirth without any of the regret, [...]

You can't crap any more without turning around and seeing a turd with 2 american flags sticking out of it. All this kitschy, pretentious pseudo-patriotism makes my rectum seep.