The Turd’s Prayer

Dear lord in heaven, Creator of all, provider of everything, giver of life and with whom I shall spend eternal bliss, I ask you to please hear my prayer today and allow this enormous turd to finally exit this vessel of a body that you have been kind of enough to bless me with. Oh […]

Please employ Biblical Rationalization when reading Porkjerky.com. Everything I say on this site is the 100% absolute literal truth to be taken exactly as I typed it. Unless of course it can be undeniable proven incorrect, in which case I obviously did that on purpose and my writings are allegorical.