Once Upon A Porn Star

I must be getting homosexualer in my old age. First I don’t liked shaved pussies, bleached assholes, girls struggling to put their own tits in their mouths or bicameral legislatures. Now, not only can’t I even name one porn star, I don’t care to.

With that and the rate hair is randomly appearing on my body, I am slowly turning into my grandfather. While this would be the time he would tell you about being raised on a farm, reminisce about how great WWII rationing was, throw in a few non sequiturs about bikinis and how my father was almost named ‘Edwin’, lament how much gas mileage his Oldsmobile is getting versus how much it should be getting and then silently stare off into space without making any single point in his ramblings, I am going to try a more logical argument.

You Should Not Name Livestock, Tumors, Turds Or Porn Stars

While I wasn’t raised on a farm, I do know a thing about them gleaned from my years of listening to that old man ramble on about life on one: You don’t name your livestock. They aren’t pets. They aren’t friends nor peers nor family. They are inventory. You should think of them as objects you are taking care of until you need to use them.

That’s why I don’t care to know porn star names and neither should you. Porn stars aren’t like oil or natural gas—porn stars are a renewable resource. There’s no need to conserve them or attach any special meaning to one over another. Its more expensive to recycle one than it does to dispose of them and just get a new one.

That’s how porn works.

All those gray haired cunts are right—porn objectifies women (actually, it objectifies people–because men are in those videos too. The shriveled poons never make that connection though). Nothing wrong with that. In fact that’s the way it should be. All porn participants should be viewed as disposable objects. When dumbfucks like you learn porn stars names, you are unobjectifing them—making them people and subverting the whole system.

Its counter intuitive to get so attached to a single one that you find out more about her than can be ascertained by watching her in one frame of film. There’s no depth to a porn star. Nothing unique. None of them are special. Ergo, there’s no reason to learn any of their names. Abusive fathers, overbearing parents and the foster system is constantly making more to replace the ones we are using today. There’s no need to get attached to one in particular.

I’m starting to wonder if I am the only one who knows how porn works.

Come to think of it, how do you even come to know those bitches names? That requires reading. Oh they put titles on boxes and credits list the names of people in the videos, but to obtain the information those words are conveying you have to expend energy to get it. You have to go out of your way, take your eyes of the sucking and fucking to parse what those words are saying. Then on top of that you store that information in your brain?

Sweet inter-species bukakke you are an idiot.

On second thought, I am not the gay one, you idiots who take the time averting your eyes from sex acts to read are. Me and my grandfather just don’t understand you kids today. Now get off our lawns.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.

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Fuck you 3 generations back. Your Irish, Italian, German, French and all other European heritage pride can suck my American dick. I'm 3/4 Missourian and 1/4 Connecticuter. My grandmother came over on the Amtrak motherfucker.