Baby Placebos

Whenever I am out taking the dog for a shit in someone else’s yard and pass a couple, both of whom are over 30, and they are walking more than 1 dog, I always try to figure out which one is infertile.

Polydogitis, A Sympton Of Infertility

Its got to be her. The bitch has ribbons on, the male has a scarf on and they both have $50 jewel encrusted collars. Those are her babies and she’s making the most of it. Yeah, she’s definetly blown out an ovary or two, its her.

It’s a medical fact, you can ask any doctor: Any couple that walks more than 1 dog, is having trouble conceiving. And usually the person who’s more serious about their role in this inter-species, awkwardly forced family, is the one who is responsible for it. It’s a medical fact.

No way, its him. He’s holding both leashes, walking 10 feet in front of her and yelling at the dogs everytime they put even one paw off the sidewalk. He’s definetly compensating for a malfunctioning and/or little cock. Gotta be him.

Here’s a tip for playing at home: The older the dogs, the more likely it is the woman. Guys won’t dump you because you can’t make babies. It’s not a breakupable offense, often it’s a bonus. Chicks though, have little patience for a dude who can’t knock them up and know there’s more sperm in the sea and aren’t sticking around when there are babies to be made.

Oh come on, its her for sure. See the backpack—its for the dogs. She has a pooper scooper in there, shit bags, dog treats, a bottle of water, handi-wipes, a spare leash, and a bunch of other crap. It’s her baby bag, but for the dogs. She’s resigned to the fact, that this is as close to being someone’s mommy as she will get and she’s getting her money’s worth. Yeah, definetly her. She couldn’t carry a child in a bucket two feet, much less in her womb to term.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.

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Even a blind pope who shits in the woods finds a nut now and then.