For millions of years unenlightened people have been squatting around like imbeciles, never realizing they should be more proactive in controlling their bowels. Like idiots, past generations thought it would be fine to just leave it up to nature to decide when they shit. Never even thinking that they should force bacteria into their system that would help them shit more frequently.
Not fucking with your body and just accepting what it says about how and when you should shit. What a naive, backwards time. Thank god we are such a greatly advanced culture.
Speaking of advanced cultures and forcing your body to shit when you want it to, Bifidus Regularis is both those things. Sounds like a scam right? Well, it is mostly. Bifidus Regularis is the active culture in the shit inducing yogurt; Activia. If you read the literature you will find that Bifidus Regularis is only in Activia. Which sounds pretty impressive until you see the little trademark symbol (™) on it and read further to find out that fucking Bifidus Regularis shit is a trademark held by Dannon.
They cultivated some bullshit bacteria, gave it a hokey, Latin sounding name and paid the Trademark Office so that no one else could use that bullshit, misleading name. Well duh motherfuckers, since you paid to not allow anyone else to use that bullshit, misleading name, nobody else but Activia is going to use that bullshit misleading name.
But don’t feel sorry for the idiots who buy it. Some people were just born to be scammed. Like fatties chasing a weight loss miracle or the old ladies keeping Publisher’s Clearing House in business thinking that they are going to win big in the sweepstakes if they just buy a couple more subscriptions to magazines they don’t need.
Really, most people who get scammed deserve it. I mean, how fucking vain or obsessive/compulsive do you have to be to be worried about the length of time it takes for you to make a poopy? And how fucking much of an unthinking, advertising susceptible retard do you have to be to actually buy something that says it will make you crap like clockwork?
It’s probably best if those people don’t have that money. I mean, they’d probably just blow it on something retarded, like magic yogurt.
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