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Current Mood: Shitty (sweet Jesus H. Fuck I am witty)

The Shit Hits The Web

Welcome to my addition to the ongoing, worldwide project of bringing the web down upon itself. Remember when the net used to be useful and worthwhile? Google used to work. Ads didn’t cover 90% of a page and links weren’t paid to be everywhere, but were there because they lead to more useful stuff. Sure, sure, every other site was a picture of some guy shoving his fist up his own ass, but when you didn’t get him the site you got was worth something.

Now, though, it’s all pablum. The web is essentially a quadrillion pages of diary entries from 12 year old girls. And boring 12 year old girls at that. None are addicted to heroin, none are giving hand jobs to the school janitor and no one is cutting themselves because their step-dad du jour is playing hide the cockshaft with them. Every page of the web is just boring shit about what her cat did today, how much she hates algebra and asparagus (it makes your pee smell , lol), and wondering if her boobies will ever get as big as her sister’s. That’s the web in a nutshell.

Worse still, everyone feels the need and is able to post their worthless comments on her worthless subjects. Everyone’s weighing in on what her cat did today, how much she hates algebra and asparagus (lmao, it does smell ) and helping her cope with her boobies. The final kick to the web’s nuts is that every link on every page is some bullshit ad that nets the owner of the site 3 thousandth of a cent per click garnering them almost enough each month to cover the PayPal charges for receiving their earnings.

Fuck you. People like you are the reason the web sucks in 2009. Bring back the good ole days–even with the stretched out assholed guy. He was a small price to pay.

I mean really, who the fuck cares about the day to day happens of some random fuck on the internet? (That’s rhetorical by the simple fact you are reading this. See the picture accompanying this post for clarification). You are a dumbfuck and with each view and comment of a blog you are only encouraging more worthless shit being puked onto the web.

So, I give up. You dipfucks win. I am selling out. I am giving what you want. Starting today, I am embracing blogging and a new motto:

This blog isn’t for you; this blog is you.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.