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Voter Unregistration Form
Dear Delilah, Your Show Sucks
U.S. Supremecy: A Circular Proof
Porkjerky.com Main Page
Clean Jokes
Make Your Own Roadside Memorial
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Look Who Put Down His Cock For 2 Seconds
And Added Crap To His Shitpile Website
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After a long hard day of throwing rocks at orphans, tearing the wings off of baby chicks and sucking trucker cock at the Waffle House for $5 a load (mention this ad and get a second for 1/2 off), I like to think back to my childhood and cut myself. Following that, but before I cry myself to sleep, I work on my site. Below, in probably chronological order, are all the updates I have made.
I seek nothing in return for the endless enjoyment and education you get from it. All I ask is that porkjerky.com, like AIDS and slavery, only be used to perform good in the world. Amen and God bless.
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8/18/8
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More roadside crosses, a roadside star of david and a railroadside
memorial.
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| | | | Every fucking website features some fucking loser as their fucking catch of the
fucking day. Thanks to and starring me, now your freaking site can too.
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5/9/8
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People are still dying to get on my site. Ha ha, holy fuck that's good. I don't
care who you are or how often I reuse that, its still fucking funny. '...still dying to get on my...', holy fuckballs Jason you are one funny negro.
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| | | | Overhauled the whole pile of puke that is this website. Same shitty content, fancy smancy
new look. Sweet motherfucker, I am going get that MBA yet.
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11/22/7
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This Thanksgiving, between volunteering at the battered women's home
educating smart-mouthed ladies about shutting their yaps and passing out Southern Comfort and Kools at the homeless shelter, I had 5
minutes, so I decided to end hunger.
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| | | | To celebrate, I took the site down, uvulated and reflected on all that this day means. Like color
coded threat levels; barefoot, liquid-free airport terminals; memories of habeaus corpus and a bumpercrop of dead brown people.
Allah bless us, everyone.
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1/6/7
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This is for all you lobotomized, faggoty baby-rapists who think that calling me a 'G.D. F-ing
Redheaded Retard' is a soul crushing putdown. There's even a version of it you can put on your own site. Your welcome Professor Dickshaft.
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| | | | Putting the 'laughter' back into vehicular manslaugther'.
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6/30/6
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The drop down atop each page of this site lets you convert it to a different translation. You
can now do that for any page on the internet. Chinese, Tourette's, Christian Tourette's, Pig Latin and Hack Comedian. The web just got a little less
shitty.
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| | | | Like a pregnant, hung-over welfare mom at the end of the month, I am mixing
together and microwaving leftovers. Instead of a completly new idea, you guys get an Unregister to Vote Letter Generator. If you need to know why
you should use it, go here. | | | | |
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8/25/5
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On this leg of my white trash safari, I continue tracking shitty drivers by their
droppings, brave an abortion cemetary and learn about some guy named Jesus.
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| | | | Medical Fact: Lying for the good of the children, to the good children, is good for the
children. Don't let the terrorists win by convincing you of anything different.
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3/14/5
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What do you get when you cross a dumbfuck and a median? No, wait, I told it wrong.
Why'd the dumbfuck cross the median? No, that's not it. Oh I know--A dumbfuck, a median and a rabbi walk into oncoming traffic...no wait. Now I
remember...
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| | | | By joining my MLM-based, pyramid ponzi scheme and placing these simple ads on your site you
can finally start bitching about the empty promises I am making about how wealthy you will become. You have my patented 437.92% money back
guarantee.
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12/2/4
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Oh great, another hatemail page. Just what the fucking web needs. Tune in next time when my
site changes to a blog and I constantly rave about how smart my rants about stupid people are. Current Mood: MegaFaggoty.
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| | | | Finding the right message to leave when you off yourself just got easier. Added 2 new ones,
Politics and Suicide Pact) as well as a P.S. message for the kids.
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10/15/4
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Updated my Fuck The Vote page with some public service announcements
from some of Hollywood Squares most authorative intellectuals on the subject (be sure to turn your sound on). Also, I successfully unregistered to vote. |
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| | | | Remember, in moderation; cell phones, Zimas and improper lane changes can make
driving fun.
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7/20/4
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Lost your faith in the democratic process? Believe that the system can't be
changed? Think your one vote doesn't matter? Well, my name is Jason and I will be your guide. Welcome to reality.
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| | | | With gas at $2 a gallon, I suspect that these will be the last crosses I add to my site.
People are just going to start walking, bicycling and using public trans--ha ha, I almost typed all that with a straight face.
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4/27/4
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Unlike other weight loss scams, this one does not require the use of diuretics,
tapeworms, heroin, cancer or Jamican Ass Funnels.
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