There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.
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Join The Scam

Sick of me getting all the credit for my own ideas and creations? Tired of not being able to exploit the fruits of my labor? Want to leech off of my hard work to impress the 4 people who visit your website? America was built (and subsequently run into the ground) on capitalizing on the labor of others and I'll be god damned if I don't let you suckle at my virtual teat.

More Than Just Lip Service...

This page will help you set up fake ads on your site that will display any message you want whenever a cursor is positioned over them. Put your cursor over the ad atop this page to see exactly how it works. In return, all I ask is that you get insanely pissed when this free offer doesn't work exactly as you want it to, build up a false sense of entitlement if I ever decide to make any changes to it, and violently threaten me when you realize your misconceptions about this program.

Set Up Your Background Message

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Empty Promises Too...

After you change the message, put your cursor over the ad to test it. When it works just like you want it, you can use the below HTML code in your own web pages to display the ads exactly as it appears above. Now, when I say "displayed exactly", I mean one out of a bunch of fake ads will be displayed randomly on your site. When a cursor is positioned on that ad your message will be shown. The ad you see at the top of this page now will be one of, but not the only ad displayed on your site (refresh this page to get a different ad).

HTML Code For Your Ad

Guaranteed!

If, at anytime, you are dissatisfied with an ad's content, the compensation system or any other aspect of The Porkjerky.com Banner Ad Network, then just fucking quit already. Jesus Christ, no one is holding a dick to your ass and forcing you to do it. Just take out the god damn code and stop using the god damn things. Fucking cracker ass crybaby faggot pussy.

It's That Simple

When people click on the ads on your site they will be directed to either my site, a she-male porn site or even mormon.org. Possibly all three. It really depends on how much of a prick I am feeling. And the best part is, for each person that clicks on the ads from your site, you will receive one Porkjerky Dollar. That's right, with The Porkjerky.com Banner Ad Network you will finally be able to reap the figuratively bajillions of dollars that your web site could be earning. The Porkjerky Dollars you earn work exactly as real money, except they have no cash value, can not be exchanged for anything and are absolutely worthless.

So Join The Porkjerky.com Banner Ad Network Today...

...And start trying to generate the revenue that you've been misled to believe you've been missing out on.

Why speak succinctly whilst you can utilize a plethora of platitudes to behoove your mission of conveying vacuous rhetoric?
There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.