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R.I.P.->Immortalizing Edward Kirk With Garbage

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Memorial For Edward Kirk

There is nothing more bittersweet in high school, with the exception of your randomly menstrual girlfriend finally getting another late period, than having a parolee, addict or general loser in life come in to talk to your entire school about walking the straight and narrow. Sure you're out of class, but you're forced to be an audience to someone who's forced to take the stage. Its sadistic, circular theater.

On August 5, 2007 Edward Kirk; veteran, cancer survivor, father and right-side-of-the-road driver, was killed when a chick crossed into his lane and hit him head on in Weston, MO. The judge punishes her with 2 years probation and punishes all the high school students in the area by making them listen to the bitch speak about her crime.

I don't know exactly what her talking points were, but if I was sentenced to do that I would have two: #1--Its better to be the median crosser than the median crossee. #2--the worst punishment you will get for doing #1, even if you kill someone, is being made to tell high school kids who are being made to listen to not do it.

I'm not above apologizing for any errors I have made. However, I'm also not above wishing AIDS and gang rape on you and your family if you incorrectly assert I've made errors. Email me at jason@porkjerky.com to point out any errors I have made. Just be certain I've made errors.