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The Porkjerky.com Affinity Test
I get it, you don't have time to figure out if this god damn porkjerky.com bullshit is worth reading. You're a grown-ass motherfucking adult, fulfilling all the responsibilites a mature person has in this hectic, technology-driven society: Capturing pokemon. Instagramming your meals. Twittering your frustrations with your fantasy teams. Remembering your kids so they don't asphyxiate in your car. Depubing yourself.
Life's demanding in 2017.
Hey, I'm busy too. Every, and I mean every, video on the youtube isn't going to post "DIE RETARDED NIGGER CUNT SPIC MOTHERFUCKER CHINK ASSHOLE" comments to themselves, are they? Of course not. Between that and holding jews accountable for 9/11, I barely have time to update this congealed turd of a site any more. So, to save everyone a ton of time, I created this test page.
Below you will find the absolute funniest fucking jokes that have ever been written. No, honestly. They only took me a total of 15 minutes to type out, but I had to do it over 8 days because everytime I read a prior joke I'd start to laugh my dick off and couldn't type or remember the new one I wanted to add. Everyday for more than a week I tried to write these and couldn't stop laughing. Enjoy:
My goal is to be the absolute funniest, wittiest, smartest person alive...to 5% of the population. I want another 5% to absolutely fucking hate me to the point of action. The last 90% I want to give confused looks, have them shake their heads and not only not get it, but not even want to try and get it. Fuck McDonald's and their billions of billions served. I want porkjerky.com to be that shitty bar in the bad part of town with disgusting bathrooms and horrible service that has the absolutely best fucking burgers in the world.
So, if you laughed until your asshole bled when reading the above jokes, welcome to the 5% and enjoy the next 6 hours of your life reading through my site. If not, well, time to open back up your facebook feed to share in the wild adventure your cousin had with her ugly kids at the arboretum today.