There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.
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R.I.P.->Glorifying Reese Polson With Garbage

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Reese Polson
Cached Article 1Cached Article 2Cached Article 3Cached Article 4Blue Springs, MO Police
Memorial For Reese Polson

Here's a creepy one. Reese Michael Polson didn't die beside a roadway. He didn't die in a car accident. He didn't even get his throat slit with a garden weasel either. You know how he died?

No really, I am asking you: Do you know how he died? If so, contact the Blue Springs, Missouri cops because they really don't know. He went missing for about a week then his corpse washed up all waterlogged in a creek. Officially, "a closed head injury", not drowning was the cause of death.

Here's what they do know: Reese and his wife, hereafter referred to as "his ol' lady", were at a party somewhere upstream of the creek that is behind those trees in the picture. Around midnight, him and his ol' lady get in a fight, but instead of trunking her or passing out a backhand, he decides to take a walk to cool off. And boy did he. In fact, his body was so cold when they found him that they couldn't use that CSI body temperature technique to determine his time of death. All they know is that he was last seen about a week before and 2 miles upstream.

But hey, since his corpse washed up within 100 yards of a road, put up a cross and litter the ground for him anyway I say. Why let shitty driving have a monopoly on roadside memorials. It's not like you have to have tact when being tasteless.

When sending complaints of Porkjerky.com to jason@porkjerky.com be sure you include your name, phone number, address, social security number and the method of death you fear the most.
There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.