There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.
Porkjerky.com
Ruining The Internet For Everyone
 

R.I.P.->Eulogizing David Johnson With Trash

    Email Page To Someone   Create A Link For This Page   Be An Idiot, Click Here
Next Cross -->
<-- Prior Cross
R.I.P. Main Submit A Cross Make Your Own Roadside Memorial
Don't Take My Word For It.
Here Are My Sources For
David Johnson
Cached ArticleMagic: The Gathering
Memorial For David Johnson

Poor, poor, poor, poor, David Scott Johnson. This has got to be the most macabre death thus far. You may want to turn away now so you won't have to read the nightmarish details that follow.

Now, they weren't able to identify this from his dental records, but I think it is a safe conclusion given the facts that are known:

  1. He was the only person involved in the wreck.
  2. He rolled a minivan.
  3. He died at age 22.

So obviously, poor David Johnson died a virgin. How horrific. To be legal drinking age and not only drive a minivan, but to die while doing so. I am sure he will truly be missed by all the people he played Magic: The Gathering with, as well as that fat girl with horrible acne he never had the courage to ask out but would have gladly let him get to third base.

Send hate mail, death threats and proof of your illiteracy to jason@porkjerky.com. Remember, 'Fuck you.' is a complete sentence; 'You infected ass-polyp' is just a fragment.
There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.