Literally Wrong, Virtually Legal

R.I.P.->Roadside Memorial Maker

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Make Your Own Roadside Memorial
Make Your Own Roadside Memorial, Just Add Water And Trash

*Death Sold Seperately

If you're like me, then you're one of these sissy-assed, seat-belt wearing, non-cell-phone having, blind-spot checking, speed-limit obeying, turn-signal using, non-median crossing, undrunk yet defensive driving pussies that hasn't had a pile of blasphemous litter thrown in a highway ditch to remember you by.

Well, I'm here with good news: My girlfriend isn't pregnant. A little less good, but a little more germane: Now you too can get the publicity and pity enjoyed by the Brett Allen Herns of the world, without that not-so-alive feeling that goes with being sodomized by an 18-wheeler.

Roadside Memorial Maker
Deceased's Name:   Barrel:
Deceased's Initials:   Flag:
Message Line 1:   Bottles:
Message Line 2:   Dumbass:
Message Line 3:   Pinwheel:
Message Line 4:  

Fill in the form above to customize your own roadside memorial picture (a la the one atop this page) and start getting the notoriety that being a safe, or at least lucky, driver should command. If you have an actual roadside memorial already or caused someone to get one or just want to let me know about one I should get for my collection, use the Cross Submission Page to let me know about it.

If you have any questions or comments about this site, please send them to jason@porkjerky.com, then assfuck yourself anally in your own butt.