There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.
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R.I.P.->Memorializing Kayla Wilkins, Nickolas Alfrey & Jeff Frolio With Shit

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Kayla Wilkins, Nickolas Alfrey & Jeff Frolio
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Memorial For Kayla Wilkins, Nickolas Alfrey & Jeff Frolio

Even if you're not muslamic I strongly encourage you to face your mat toward West Omaha, NE and pray to my Mecca.

Long story kind of less long: I lose a bet to a lady with huge knockers and a digital camera and have to go to Nebraska. Awesomely, just weeks before we go, the roadside memorial of my dreams is made there: A roadside memorial for someone who died because of roadside memorials. To put it biblically, the Kayla Wilkins and Nickolas Alfrey roadside memorial begot the Jeff Frolio roadside memorial and unto an intersection fell multitudes of tacky plastic shit.

This is better than the time I found roadside crosses to put on my site because of the roadside crosses on my site. Here's the gist of this story:

Jeff Frolio a cameraman for the ABC affiliate in Omaha (KETV 9) was getting some stock footage of dangerous intersections in the Omaha area. Can you see where this is heading? Yes? Well, it happened. As Jeff was walking back to the news van he gets plowed. And where did it occur? That's right, at a dangerous intersection in the Omaha area.

Specifically, 220th and West Center, exactly in front of the Wilkins and Alfrey memorial which moments early he was shooting. That intersection is so dangerous in fact, the driver who hit Frolio wasn't charged with a thing.

Story gets better, but the photographs don't. Finally, Ms. Big Juggs drags me up there but the week prior the cops ordered all the memorial crap taken down. Either they think that shitty memorials add to the dangerousness of an intersection, or they just wanted to cut down on the number of people, like me, who were making their haj. When I got there, I only found one knocked over cross and a little memorial paraphernalia strewn about.

Let's all learn a lesson from this. Standing where roadside crosses are and taking pictures can be pretty dangerous. Dangerously hilarious. With this picture, I just ran my record to 65-0. Come on fate, I triple dog dare you, you big pussy.

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There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.