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R.I.P.->Remembering Chris Saverino With Crap

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Chris Saverino
Online ArticleMissouri Case.net
Memorial For Chris Saverino

Every young man will forever remember that special time in his life when the first idiot he knows drives his drunken ass of the road and dies. For me that moment happened as a freshman in high school and the worst thing about it was that everyone in school had to pretend like it was a surprise. Fact of the matter, the only surprise to anyone was that the drunkard made it all the way to his senior year before diving through a windshield to his death.

Meet Chris Saverino, he's just like that guy in high school, except with a longer lucky streak. He made it all the way to 39 before meeting his unshocking demise. Now, I don't really believe in fate or foreordination or that things in life are planned out for us, but I do believe in a thing I like to call "logical destiny". With some people you can predict with near certainty how they are going to end up. Given some information about a person's life, it just makes sense that certain things are going to happen to them in that life.

Take Chris for example, it shouldn't be a surprise to anyone, in fact, the more you know about him, the more it should just make sense that somewhere at sometime, a roadside cross will bear his name. Actually, after viewing his criminal record it would only be surprising if it didn't occur. And most likely, sooner than later. Let's review some of the things Mr. Saverino was sentenced to jail for:

  • Non-payment of child support.
  • Tampering with a utility meter.
  • Driving without a license.
  • Driving while intoxicated.

Those of course, are just the things he received a prison term for, it doesn't include his other criminal cases, the restraining order requests or the civil suits against him. If you don't believe me, go to Missouri Case.net, click on 'Litigant Name Search'.

So, what I am saying is that maybe, just maybe, hear me out here. Just maybe, perhaps, possibly, by chance, consider if you will, just hear me out on this one and remember its pure speculation and hypothesis. What I am suggesting, just as food for thought, as merely an intellectual exercise, just maybe, maybe the idea of an ornately decorated, 6 foot tall cross with an angel figurine on it, is kind of, just sort of, maybe, just a little bit of a misreprensentation of the life of Chris Saverino. I am just saying, maybe.

Then again, who am I or the judicial system to argue against the claims made by a roadside memorial?

Direct all hate mail to jason@porkjerky.com and remember to attach naked pictures of your grandmother to guarantee a quick response. The more pink the better.