There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.
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R.I.P.->Remembering Tracy, Cecil & Sydney Stowers With Trash

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Tracy, Cecil & Sydney Stowers
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Memorial For Tracy, Cecil & Sydney Stowers

In The Immortal Words Of Jesus Christ: 'Oy Vey'

Am I the only one who really enjoys it when people take poetic license with religous symbols? Makes me giggle like a sexy prepubescent little girl. Its obligatory that you put up a crappy memorial. Its mandatory that you use a cross. Its required that you nail up a plastic wreath. It's compulsory that you have trash strewn around it. Everything else though; fair game. Bastardize, blasphemy and corner-cut as you employ your gloriously wonderful creative powers to produce a pile of shit that steams like this.

I wonder if this type of cross contains 3 times the jesus power of normal crosses? "Hey, if a normal cross with its one horizontal board honors jesus then this motherfucker is gonna knock his leper-healing sandals off". Or maybe the guy who made it could only steal enough wood from a construction site for 2 crosses. And instead of leaving out one person he just made one super bad-ass cross to honor them all. In that case: Kudos to you sir.

Poor, poor, Tracy, Cecil and Sydney Stowers (who is a baby, in case you missed it). First they get plowed by a drunk on christmas eve (how apt is that?) who literally walked away from the accident. Then they are subjected to having this hunk of dogshit display their names for me to find. Oy.

By all means, e-mail me your thoughts, opinions, concerns and heartfelt wishes to jason@porkjerky.com. I can't sell your address to pornographic spammers otherwise.
There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.