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R.I.P.->Remembering Scott Bryant With Garbage

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Scott Bryant
Cached Article 1Cached Article 2QuikTrip
Memorial For Scott Bryant

Scott A. Bryant's death was brought to him by the good people at QuikTrip who would like to remind you that everytime, even midnight, is a great time to run across a 4 lane highway and enjoy a Hotzi or Quik 'n Tasty sandwich.

A lot of people don't have a mastery of logic or debate. For example, I remember watching a prelude to a cat fight where the first hoochie said to the second, "...Yeah? Well, I'm not the one who fucked those 6 guys at the party all at once because they promised to give me $20 and some meth."

And what did hoochie #2 retort with to save her dignity and honor? "I ain't never fucked no 6 guys for drugs or nothing. I ain't a fucking whore. They never gave me no money for no sex and we'd got high beforehand on weed not meth. And besides, there was only 4 of them anyway and it was just oral sex. So you just look stupid when you talk shit that you don't know nothing about.

Touche.

What I found on Scott A. Bryant, is very similar. The police said he was wearing black and walking alongside, maybe even on, a highway at 11 pm when he got plowed over by a couple of different cars. Scott's parents thought that the cops implied he might have actually committed suicide.

So, the parents, masters at logic and debate they are, told a different story. They said Scott wasn't suicidal, he was simply running across the 4 lane highway to go to QuikTrip. And to further support their claim, they say its a trip he has made lots of times.

I will let you be the judge for yourself as to who is correct. Personally, I am giving the parents the benefit of the doubt. I say Scott Bryant wasn't suicidal, he was genetically disposed to being a dumbfuck.

I'm not above apologizing for any errors I have made. However, I'm also not above wishing AIDS and gang rape on you and your family if you incorrectly assert I've made errors. Email me at jason@porkjerky.com to point out any errors I have made. Just be certain I've made errors.