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R.I.P.->Honoring Scott Bryant With Garbage

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Scott Bryant
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Memorial For Scott Bryant

Scott A. Bryant's death was brought to him by the good people at QuikTrip who would like to remind you that everytime, even midnight, is a great time to run across a 4 lane highway and enjoy a Hotzi or Quik 'n Tasty sandwich.

A lot of people don't have a mastery of logic or debate. For example, I remember watching a prelude to a cat fight where the first hoochie said to the second, "...Yeah? Well, I'm not the one who fucked those 6 guys at the party all at once because they promised to give me $20 and some meth."

And what did hoochie #2 retort with to save her dignity and honor? "I ain't never fucked no 6 guys for drugs or nothing. I ain't a fucking whore. They never gave me no money for no sex and we'd got high beforehand on weed not meth. And besides, there was only 4 of them anyway and it was just oral sex. So you just look stupid when you talk shit that you don't know nothing about.

Touche.

What I found on Scott A. Bryant, is very similar. The police said he was wearing black and walking alongside, maybe even on, a highway at 11 pm when he got plowed over by a couple of different cars. Scott's parents thought that the cops implied he might have actually committed suicide.

So, the parents, masters at logic and debate they are, told a different story. They said Scott wasn't suicidal, he was simply running across the 4 lane highway to go to QuikTrip. And to further support their claim, they say its a trip he has made lots of times.

I will let you be the judge for yourself as to who is correct. Personally, I am giving the parents the benefit of the doubt. I say Scott Bryant wasn't suicidal, he was genetically disposed to being a dumbfuck.

I'm not above apologizing for any errors I have made. However, I'm also not above wishing AIDS and gang rape on you and your family if you incorrectly assert I've made errors. Email me at jason@porkjerky.com to point out any errors I have made. Just be certain I've made errors.