There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.
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R.I.P.->Glorifying Jimmie Ferguson With Trash

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Don't Take My Word For It.
Here Are My Sources For
Jimmie Ferguson
Online Article 1Online Article 2
Memorial For Jimmie Ferguson

If you have a death wish, own a motorcycle and want to get on this site; then play the odds and drive like an idiot to zip code 64053. An affinity for drinking and speeding aren't necessary, but can't hurt. This memorial makes the 3rd one I've found in this delipadated, postal defined area of Independence for guys who ate it while playing Easy Rider.

The one above is for Jimmie Ferguson's and is about a 1/2 mile southeast of Clark Waldram's cross and a mile west of Kevin Shields' memorial. Like Kevin, Jimmie was the only one involved in his accident. Like Clark, Jimmie's was an 'alcohol-related fatality' (what a glorious term. Check out Clark's page on my site to be disgusted by what 'alcohol-related fatality' truly means). Probably.

I can't say for certain. I can just quote the article I found for Ferguson's death where the cops suspected that alcohol was a factor in Jimmie's accident. How is it that the police can immediately know to 5 significant digits the alcohol content of your blood by just using your breath on a machine all cruisers carry? However once you die, especially if its in the middle of the night and only you are involved in the crash, the cops don't give a rancid shit about finding out if you had one too many. Why is that?

Oh, that's right, they don't make any money ticketing corpses. If they did Shittypendence, MO (now that's how you fucking portmanteau) would have a few more bucks to wipe clean its 64053 butthole.

When sending complaints of Porkjerky.com to jason@porkjerky.com be sure you include your name, phone number, address, social security number and the method of death you fear the most.
There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.