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R.I.P.->Immortalizing Steven Bennett With Trash

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This might be hard to fathom, but occasionaly, occasionally, once in every four blue moons I get negative feedback to this site and what I do with roadside memorials. I know, me too. Somehow people take issue with me stopping to take pictures of the shitty rememberances they leave at the side of the road for their deceased loved ones, researching how they met their end and then, as the colloquialism goes: 'giving them the business'.

Here's how I sleep at night--like everyone else-- I find someone shittier than me, say a bottom feeding piece of human shit like Stephen Schultz and revel in my comparitive moral superiority. That's just common sense: Find a person you're better than--if only in the narrowest of ways--shine a light on that narrow sliver of superiority and feel good about yourself and how you live your life.

The At Least I'm Not That Guy morality doctrine is just good solid life advice. Its the reason why killing hookers and homeless drunks is punishable with jail time and not a fine like it logically should be. While bums' and hookers' lives are inherently worthless, the fact that they are absolutely worthless gives them indirect value to society. We all need a lower rung of human existence to look down on and use to feel better about our lives of marginal worth.

So, while I might be a human pile of shit to roadside cross victims, Stephen Schultz is the junkie whore in the bad part of town offering $2 handjobs that I compare myself to so that I can look myself in the mirror every morning when I shave and jack off. (FYI---don't do those activities simutaneously. Not because of any safety issue, it just feels really awkward when you make eye contact with yourself while doing that.)

According to Channel 5 KDSK St. Louis (Where the news comes first! ), at 12:40 on 3/5/2009 Michael Conley was driving too fast, rolled his car several times, seriously injuring himself and killing his passenger, Steven Bennett, who later received this wonderful roadside tumor that any retard can pull off of the road by, put a shit-eating grin on and have their picture taken beside as they look like the goofy assfuck they are.

Wait, my comparative moral superiority part is coming. I promise.

While researching the wreck, I found a page at this url: http://www.interact.stltoday.com/blogzone/chas-beat/wentzville/2009/03/wentzville-teen-improving-after-crash-that-killed-passenger/ which detailed the story and allowed users to leave comments. And boy what comments--the moral superiority and and instructions for people to go fuck themselves were flying there. People were not happy with Conley for killing Bennet, other people were not happy with people saying Conley killed Bennet.

Again, that's not the part where I am morally superior to someone though--just hang the fuck on already.

I checked the above url right as I was about to publish this page to my site, and the page is dead--The St. Louis Post Dispatch took it all down, thus mooting the initial benediction I wrote for this cross. So I dug a little deeper into the bowels of the internet and found this story about the wreck on the Schultz Legal Group blog.

I've found blogs that exist only to be advertisements for ambulance chasers before, but this is even more morally reprehensible. Even my normally loose moral sphincter clenched shut. The blog posting on the Schultz Legal Group recapped the events of the wreck and then specficially solicited the family members of Steven Bennett to sue Michael Conley.

Here's the 3rd paragraph of that posting:

The surviving family members of Steven Bennett may possibly have a viable Missouri wrongful death claim. This type of claim is governed by the Missouri Wrongful Death Statute, Section RSMo 537.080. Contact St. Louis Wrongful Death Lawyer Stephen Schultz to discuss who can bring a claim and what type of recovery is allowable under this complicated Statute. Our experienced wrongful death attorneys can be reached at (314) 448-0934, toll-free (866) 840-3636, or by email.

So, In moral superiority conclusion, knowing that there are people like Stephen Shultz who start whoring themselves out at the first whiff of a corpse is how I sleep at night.

I'm surprised no one has thought of your excellent idea before. Sending a profanity filled email to jason@porkjerky.com wishing death upon me will definitely change my holocaustal ways.