Are you as excited as I am? That's right it's finally here--. If you've been a good patriot this year, paid your taxes on time and belong to a cult that does smart things like make you pretend you're eating your savior's body and drinking his blood instead of stupid cult stuff like praying in a certain direction 5 times a day; then maybe, just maybe, this year Uncle Sam will slip down your chimney and leave presents under your flagpole. Be sure to set out a plate of apple pie for him and throw down some birdseed for the eight bald eagles pulling his Humvee. Thomas Jefferson bless us everyone!

As always, porkjerky.com goes dark for 9/11 so get your fill now.
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R.I.P.->Eulogizing Brett Allen Hern With Shit

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Brett Allen Hern
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Memorial For Brett Allen Hern

Brett Allen Hern: Not The SLUTSNATCHWART FAGGOT WHORE Smartest Turd In The Urinal

Honestly people, when a loved one DICK PUSSYBREATH DUMB COCKFUCK DICKNUGGET dies you can lie to yourself all you want about the deceased. You JEW SNATCHPISSBREATH TWAT PARSLEY STRETCHED-OUT TWAT can gawdily memorialize them with all the plastic flowers and PIGBUTT PUSSY FUCKING SPEARCHUCKER crappy cliched wreaths you want. You can even adopt a highway in their loving memory; CUNTBAG TWAT NASTY CUNT DICKBAG BITCHLESS which seems to mean a memory where you forget about them being a universe class dumbfuck. BUTTCOCKFACE BASTARDPIG BUTTHOLE WARTY FELCH You can do all of that. Its not WETBACK SLUTFUCK fine with me, but I have come to accept that its going to FAGGOT CUNTBASTARDPUSSY FELCH happen. Just know, that when I post pages to SHIT PIMPWART TWAT JEWNUGGET ASSDOG their honest memory it is because your publicity FELCH BUTTLESS SLUT JIGABOO SNATCHLESS PUSSYWHITETRASH of them lead me to find the SLUTBAG DAYGO PUSSYBAG LINOLEUM FAGGOTFACE truth about how your retarded loved one died. These pages are your fault.

With a preface like WHORE DICK ASS DICKSANDNIGGER PUKEBUTT that, you fucking know that this cross has one cunt of a good story DIRTY SHIT TORONTO SNATCHSPEARCHUCKER behind it:

If you take the stupidity of Pete Cuezze GOOK TOWELHEAD ZAMBONI CAMELJOCKEY JIGABOO to the 5th power then add 3 retards, mix in some brain SNATCH COCKFUCK ESKIMO BUTTBREATH damage and lobotomize on high for 30 seconds, you might get the SNATCHBASTARDLICKER SHITTING FAGGOTWHITETRASH intelligence of Brett Allen Hern. I usually give a synopsis of the stories BUTTNUGGET WHORE DIARRHEA JIZZ SHITHOLE I find to tell the story of how the FAGGOT SHITPIMP CHINKASS NASTY SLUTDICK crosses got there, but this time I am copying verbatim from the newspaper article CUNT FAGGOTBREATH CLIT I found:

"Brett Hern, an 18-year-old Independence man, ran BLOWJOB ASS SACRAMENTO WHORE SHIT-EATING BITCHPIMP out in front of a tractor-trailer after parking his pickup BASTARDHOLE OREGANO STUPID ESKIMO truck on the shoulder of Interstate 70 at about 7:30 p.m."

By all means, e-mail me your thoughts, opinions, concerns and heartfelt CHINK CLIT DICKBAG SLUTLESS SNATCHASS PUSSYPIG wishes to jason@porkjerky.com. I can't sell your address to pornographic SHITWHORE WHORE NIGGER SLUTBUCKET PISS CUNT spammers otherwise.
Are you as excited as I am? That's right it's finally here--. If you've been a good patriot this year, paid your taxes on time and belong to a cult that does smart things like make you pretend you're eating your savior's body and drinking his blood instead of stupid cult stuff like praying in a certain direction 5 times a day; then maybe, just maybe, this year Uncle Sam will slip down your chimney and leave presents under your flagpole. Be sure to set out a plate of apple pie for him and throw down some birdseed for the eight bald eagles pulling his Humvee. Thomas Jefferson bless us everyone!

As always, porkjerky.com goes dark for 9/11 so get your fill now.