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R.I.P.->Memorializing Brett Allen Hern With Garbage

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Brett Allen Hern
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Memorial For Brett Allen Hern

Brett Allen Hern: Not The Smartest Turd In The Urinal

Honestly people, when a loved one dies you can lie to yourself all you want about the deceased. You can gawdily memorialize them with all the plastic flowers and crappy cliched wreaths you want. You can even adopt a highway in their loving memory; which seems to mean a memory where you forget about them being a universe class dumbfuck. You can do all of that. Its not fine with me, but I have come to accept that its going to happen. Just know, that when I post pages to their honest memory it is because your publicity of them lead me to find the truth about how your retarded loved one died. These pages are your fault.

With a preface like that, you fucking know that this cross has one cunt of a good story behind it:

If you take the stupidity of Pete Cuezze to the 5th power then add 3 retards, mix in some brain damage and lobotomize on high for 30 seconds, you might get the intelligence of Brett Allen Hern. I usually give a synopsis of the stories I find to tell the story of how the crosses got there, but this time I am copying verbatim from the newspaper article I found:

"Brett Hern, an 18-year-old Independence man, ran out in front of a tractor-trailer after parking his pickup truck on the shoulder of Interstate 70 at about 7:30 p.m."

I'm not above apologizing for any errors I have made. However, I'm also not above wishing AIDS and gang rape on you and your family if you incorrectly assert I've made errors. Email me at jason@porkjerky.com to point out any errors I have made. Just be certain I've made errors.