There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.
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R.I.P.->Glorifying Michael Eugene Isaiah jones With Garbage

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Michael Eugene Isaiah jones
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Memorial For Michael Eugene Isaiah jones

Sorry, but two boards nailed together with a dead person's name on it and stuck in the ground is a crappy, personalized cross; one board with a dead person's name on it and stuck in the ground is a crappy personalized tomato stake. I know, it's a fine line to draw and it may make some people unhappy, but its a distinction I have to make. Then again, I must also praise this memorial because nothing visibly and olfactorily conveys love and sorrow like cheap, mildewing stuffed animals interspersed with decaying framed pictures and wet, rotting paper.

I think this type of tribute is a great idea. Sure, at first glance it looks like a mound of week-old, bloody horse diarrhea, but the idea they have is on the right track. I don't think these people were trying to set up a memorial to Michael Eugene Isaiah Jones as much as they were trying clean out his room and dispose of all his shit. On with the living.

I know what you are thinking and you couldn't be more right. Someone needs to e-mail me at jason@porkjerky.com and tell me how little my dick is and how horribly I need to die.
There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.