Gayer and Retardeder Than Two Autistic Guys 69ing

R.I.P.->Memorializing Breanna Shelby & Linda Gibson With Trash

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Breanna Shelby & Linda Gibson
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Memorial For Breanna Shelby & Linda Gibson

Here's some more good news for those of us who aren't big fans of this "allowing women to drive" experiment. Scratch 2 more of them off the list. Not only did Breanna Shelby kill herself and someone else, she came out of it smelling like a martyr.

First, to get across the median she had to break through one of those I-can't-believe-it's-not-a-real-divider, cable barriers that shitty, piss-poor towns like Kansas City use to divide the highway instead of the good concrete ones. But, like a hot, reckless knife through distracted, careless butter Shelby sliced through with ease. Then she takes out Linda Gibson. Next, and here's the great part; every news story I found, the tragedy they tell is not the murder of Linda Gibson or even her death or even the fact that she existed at all. Gibson is parenthetical (in one story she isn't even mentioned until the 6th paragraph). The true loss that all the stories tells, is that of Shelby, the shitty driving teen.

Inexplicably, when you read the news accounts, the phrase, "shitty driving teen" is absent. Its not even implied. Instead you will read about Shelby being "popular and friendly", "very out going", "good worker and friendly", "had dreams and was going after them". My favorite part is that while you get Shelby's life story (which includes her heroic love of French), all you get describing Gibson is "and another driver".

Yes, please do what you are thinking about doing. The address is jason@porkjerky.com. I can't have a 'Hate Mail From Dumbfucks' page without help from people like you.