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R.I.P.->Commemorating Wilson With Garbage

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Memorial For Wilson

After you're done laughing at what a douchebag I look like, read the cross. "Wilson", then left to right "Loving Father of Nine", and "Husband and Friend". Where do I start? First of all, man I look like an HIV positive truck stop gigolo, and not the good kind.

Second, Who the fuck writes the word "nine". I know its only been 12 centuries since Al-Khowarizmi introduced a numeral system, but please lets keep up. Of course who has time for book learning when your so busy fucking and collecting food stamps to make and support your nine leeches. With that many kids a man barely has time for hobbies, like being loving or a husband or friendship or drunk driving.

Lastly, either the cross's claims are bullshit or his kids, wife and friends truly are ingrates. If he was really a "loving father of nine" and such a good "husband and friend" dont you think more than one crappy white cross with one crappy plastic flower would be out there in that ditch beside that crappy wire angel looking thing? People, you've got to back up your claims with some litter.

Direct all hate mail to jason@porkjerky.com and remember to attach naked pictures of your grandmother to guarantee a quick response. The more pink the better.