There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.
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R.I.P.->Immortalizing Waylon Greene With Trash

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Waylon Greene
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Memorial For Waylon Greene

          Porkjerky.com Presents:

You Make The Asshole Call

After my niece's recent tragic death at the hands of a careless and possibly drunk driver, I've become acutely more sensitive to what the families of these roadside memorial victims go through and have starting reconsidering what I've done by putting up these memorials. I'm not to the point yet of taking this portion of my site down entirely, but for this cross, while I'd normally be confident in shitting on Waylon Greene's mother for his death, my new found empathy won't allow me to.

Nah, I'm just fucking with you. Maybe about my niece's death. Probably about me gaining empathy. Totally about reconsidering what I'm doing with roadside memorials. If my niece did/does die that way, or at all, it would only strengthen my resolve to be a perplexing asshole, make me even more jadeder and increase my use of words and phrases that make pedantic, grammararian fuck-for-brains queasy.

With that said, as much as I believe that Waylon's mom is the person most culpable for his death, there's an ever so slight shadow of doubt that's keeping me from actually calling her a huge piece of shit. So instead of coming right out and saying that, I'll just present to you what I found for Waylon's death and let you arrive at that judgement of her yourselves.

I found 3 news stories about this accident, here's what every one agrees on: At 6:30 am 11/17/2011 Waylon's mom swerved on the interstate, lost of control of her SUV, rolled it and Waylon died. This news story reports that a cop said Waylon wasn't wearing his seatbelt, another news account reported that he was and a third said they didn't know. Then Goldilocks got into the last bed and decided to...wait wrong story. Fuck you Kansas City news stations, get your shit together.

Witnesses say that she just lost control as she came to a traffic back-up. She says that another car cut in front of her and put on its brakes. That car has never been seen again, nor could I find anyone but Waylon's mother saying that it existed in the first place.

One last thing before you turn in your verdict on Waylon's mother: On 4/25/2011 Waylon's father, who isn't married to Waylon's mother, filed a wrongful death suit (Go to Missour Casenet and search case 1216-CV09791) against her and an auto insurance company. It doesn't mention who he thought she wrongfully caused the death of. So, when making your judgement of her being a huge piece of shit or not, take all of this into consideration and realize that this lawsuit may not be about Waylon's death, it could be for any of the deaths Waylon's mom has been a party to.

Wow, I have gone soft.

Send hate mail, death threats and proof of your illiteracy to jason@porkjerky.com. Remember, 'Fuck you.' is a complete sentence; 'You infected ass-polyp' is just a fragment.
There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.