Finding The Laugh In 'Manslaughter'

R.I.P.->Eulogizing J P Rosciglione With Litter

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J P Rosciglione
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Memorial For J P Rosciglione

Not to get all pious and self-righteous (the word 'more' should probably be in there somewhere), but I think my assholeishness sometimes lends itself to producing good things. Or at least not evil.

Every memorial I come across I get my picture taken with, I research what actually happened to get that cross and post what I find here. Every fucking cross.

I absolutely relish the ones where the dumbfuck darwinned themselves. I love even more the ones where an ambulance full of preemie babies being transported by a coven of retired nuns from one hospital to another and gets t-boned by a 16 year old cunt texting and updating facebook.

omg so many dead tiny babies and lady priests, wtf?
Current Status:   In Deep Shit.

Unfortunately, this memorial made me realize that the crosses on this site for victims of piece of shit murderers have a silver lining. Mull this over in your tiny thought organ: As long as I have this site, often long after the piece of shit murderers have gotten out of jail, those piece of shit murderers will have their name attached to the murders they committed because of this site.

For this cross, that piece of shit murderer is Gerald Reiser. In this browser window Google his name to see what I mean.

If you did as I told you (which you always should), welcome back. When you google 'Gerald Reiser' you got a link to this very page within the top 5 results. As long as porkjerky.com is up, this page will be part of his internet legacy.

A couple of side notes:

  1. To any ambulance chasing slander lawyers who wants piece of shit murder Gerald Reiser as a client in a slander case against me: This is not my intent. Tainting that taint's internet legacy is just a happy benefit of the way the web works. That should be defense enough, but if its not, I always have the truth: Gerald Reiser is a piece of shit murderer.
  2. To the google script that index pages: Gerald Reiser is a piece of shit murderer.

Speaking of the truth and Gerald Reiser being a piece of shit murderer: On 2/5/2005 in Bridgeton, MO J P Rosciglione got clipped by Reiser, somehow got ejected and then hit by oncoming traffic. Rosciglione dies; Reiser, who had outstanding warrants for auto theft, child support and failure to appear for speeding, speeds off. Two days after that he was arrested because witnesses got his plate number. 653 days after that he pled guilty to fleeing the scene and got two years and was found guilty of manslaugther for which he got 2 years also, however I believe those were served concurrently--meaning he only had to serve 2 years total.

The key take-away from all of this is I am an asshole. Granted, I am just the fourth worse asshole in this story (behind Reiser, the judge for such a shitty sentence and the prosecutor for allowing a plea like this), I am still an asshole. But that can be a good thing for you...

When you decide to throw crap in a ditch where your loved one died, give a thought to the story I am going to tell when I find that hunk of stillbirth you call a memorial. If your loved one drove their drunk ass into a highway sign, I'm going to post that story. If they were in a street fight and got done in by a gardening tool, I'm telling that story too. And, if they were murdered by some piece of shit waste of human like Gerald Reiser, well, my hands are tied, I will post that one as well.

Feel free to use my assholeocity to your advantage.

By all means, e-mail me your thoughts, opinions, concerns and heartfelt wishes to jason@porkjerky.com. I can't sell your address to pornographic spammers otherwise.