There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.
Porkjerky.com
Not The Smartest Turd In The Urinal
 

R.I.P.->Memorializing A.W. With Crap

    Email Page To Someone   Create A Link For This Page   Be An Idiot, Click Here
Next Cross -->
<-- Prior Cross
R.I.P. Main Submit A Cross Make Your Own Roadside Memorial
Don't Take My Word For It.
Here Are My Sources For
A.W.
Oak Grove Missouri
Memorial For A.W.

Honestly?

You put up a cross in Oak Grove, Missouri, expect me to come along, have my picture taken beside it as I look like a cock junkie with AIDS, jonesing for a dick to suck (which I totally nailed by the way), write a scathing summary of how your loved one perished but only put 'A.W.' on the cross for me to work with? That's not how this works. I'm good, but it takes more than 2 fucking initials for me to find the tragic story of how your loved one humorously died.

I'm sorry to do this, but you people have left me no choice. From now on if you are going to put up a shitty memorial advertising your loved ones demise you must, absolutely must; leave a full name, all aliases, a social security number, dates of birth and death, mother's maiden name, full names of all living immediate family members, a listing of criminal case numbers they have been defendants of, an image (72 dpi resolution minimum) and the contact information of the person putting up the cross. Again, I'm sorry, and not to sound like a socialist high school principal without crictical thinking abilities, but a select few have ruined this for everyone.

Now, if you're the idiot who put up this cross for A.W. or are guilty of crapping one out without sufficient information, your penance is to complete my Roadside Cross Submission Form and to think before you puke out a cross onto the world next time.

Remember, we are all going to have to work together and do our parts if we are going to shit on the memory of your deceased loved ones.

Again, all hate mail goes to jason@porkjerky.com and as you write, keep telling yourself that your opinion counts and that you can make a difference.
There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.