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R.I.P.->Commemorating A.W. With Garbage

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Don't Take My Word For It.
Here Are My Sources For
A.W.
Oak Grove Missouri
Memorial For A.W.

Honestly?

You put up a cross in Oak Grove, Missouri, expect me to come along, have my picture taken beside it as I look like a cock junkie with AIDS, jonesing for a dick to suck (which I totally nailed by the way), write a scathing summary of how your loved one perished but only put 'A.W.' on the cross for me to work with? That's not how this works. I'm good, but it takes more than 2 fucking initials for me to find the tragic story of how your loved one humorously died.

I'm sorry to do this, but you people have left me no choice. From now on if you are going to put up a shitty memorial advertising your loved ones demise you must, absolutely must; leave a full name, all aliases, a social security number, dates of birth and death, mother's maiden name, full names of all living immediate family members, a listing of criminal case numbers they have been defendants of, an image (72 dpi resolution minimum) and the contact information of the person putting up the cross. Again, I'm sorry, and not to sound like a socialist high school principal without crictical thinking abilities, but a select few have ruined this for everyone.

Now, if you're the idiot who put up this cross for A.W. or are guilty of crapping one out without sufficient information, your penance is to complete my Roadside Cross Submission Form and to think before you puke out a cross onto the world next time.

Remember, we are all going to have to work together and do our parts if we are going to shit on the memory of your deceased loved ones.

Have your attorney use jason@porkjerky.com when making good on your threats to sue me for being an asshole. Of course, the same guy who handled your back child support and DUI cases probably isn't the best representation in this civil matter.