A Grown Assed Website

R.I.P.->Memorializing Sarah Dickison, Jesse Dutton & Marietta Kester With Shit

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Sarah Dickison, Jesse Dutton & Marietta Kester
Online Memorial
Memorial For Sarah Dickison, Jesse Dutton & Marietta Kester

As evidenced by this whole fucking site of mine, I used to think that there could be nothing worse than dying beside a road and having someone think that it is a fitting tribute to throw a pile of shit in a ditch to serve as a memorial. Well, color me a changed man. First, the crosses pictured above are some of the best ones I have seen. Nothing too prentitous and gawdy. Nothing too trashy. They are simple, well done and nicely maintained. But do you honestly think that's my point?

Of course fucking not. My point is that while the crosses above are the nicest plastic ditch turds of the bunch, I found something even more horrible than having a shitty cross put up as a rememberance. That's right: A shitty angelfire web page. Think geocities, but more cheap and annoying.

This tribute has it all, advertisements, long loading midi song (good news, it loops indefinetly), shitty poems, dolphins, a hit counter (very classy), and cherubs, cherubs, cherubs. The only thing it is missing is some sort of download prompt. Either Gator or Comet Cursor is what I would suggest. Any memorial that can launch spyware on my machine is tops in my book. Other than that--fucking sweet, you are doing Sarah, Jesse and Marietta an honor.

So, I have had a change of heart. Comparatively, roadside crosses are not the shittest form of rememberance. Well, at least until the crosses can can generate Orbitz pop up ads and suck up my bandwidth.

You're 100% right--Violence solves a lot of problems. Of course its best to first threaten and graphically explain said violence. Use jason@porkjerky.com to start the process on me.