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Corey Nimiec Cached ObituaryChuck E. Cheese
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While I obviously was able to get my picture taken with the laminated photo of the birthday boy, I unfortunately missed cake and ice cream. Not
to sound too much like an ungrateful, uninvited guest; but I thought, and this is just my opinion, that my nephew's birthday at
Chuck E. Cheese kicked the living shit out of
Corey Niemiec's party at the corner of an intersection that has been proven unsafe.
Granted, it was very nicely decorated, what with the flowers and the obligatory flag and the light pole and you can't go wrong with mylar
balloonary and no one pooped in the ball pit. But still, in my opinion, a little on the tacky/creepy side. But, that's just me.
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There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.