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R.I.P.->Honoring Corey Nimiec With Garbage

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Corey Nimiec
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Memorial For Corey Nimiec

While I obviously was able to get my picture taken with the laminated photo of the birthday boy, I unfortunately missed cake and ice cream. Not to sound too much like an ungrateful, uninvited guest; but I thought, and this is just my opinion, that my nephew's birthday at Chuck E. Cheese kicked the living shit out of Corey Niemiec's party at the corner of an intersection that has been proven unsafe.

Granted, it was very nicely decorated, what with the flowers and the obligatory flag and the light pole and you can't go wrong with mylar balloonary and no one pooped in the ball pit. But still, in my opinion, a little on the tacky/creepy side. But, that's just me.

I know what you are thinking and you couldn't be more right. Someone needs to e-mail me at jason@porkjerky.com and tell me how little my dick is and how horribly I need to die.