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R.I.P.->Immortalizing Corey Nimiec With Crap

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Corey Nimiec
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While I obviously was able to get my picture taken with the laminated photo of the birthday boy, I unfortunately missed cake and ice cream. Not to sound too much like an ungrateful, uninvited guest; but I thought, and this is just my opinion, that my nephew's birthday at Chuck E. Cheese kicked the living shit out of Corey Niemiec's party at the corner of an intersection that has been proven unsafe.

Granted, it was very nicely decorated, what with the flowers and the obligatory flag and the light pole and you can't go wrong with mylar balloonary and no one pooped in the ball pit. But still, in my opinion, a little on the tacky/creepy side. But, that's just me.

For your convenience, use jason@porkjerky.com to send all prayers for my soul and salvation, as well as any idle threats (lawsuits, death, property, bodily harm, etc.) you need to make.