There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.
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Memorial For Jim Dobb

A Crash Course In Crash Physics

Usually, The Missouri Department of Transportation is happy to just be indirectly responsible for the deaths I find for my website: pot holes, crappy intersection designs, quick fix highway repairs, too steep highway curves, lack of median barriers, poor draining, inadequate snow/ice removal, etc. This time though, god bless them, they got on the road and got their hands dirty, figuratively at least.

Of course, while MODOT was the instrument of Jim Dobb's death, if any state agency is to blame its the Department of Education. Had they taught Jim the 1st and 3rd laws of motion, maybe he wouldn't have had to perform such a deranged suicidal experiment and learn them in that millisecond between crapping himself and kissing the windshield.

So, boys and girls, here's today's lesson. Mr. Inertia-And-Seat-Belts-Are-For-Pussies decides to tailgate a state maintenance truck (yeah, thats what I thought too, but it turns out a couple of them actually exist, go figure). The truck slows down and so does Jim's car after it is acted upon by an outside force, namely the truck's back bumper. For, a split second, just as Mr. Newton explained oh so many centuries ago, Mr. Dobb's body and soon to be corpse, which was in motion, stayed in motion.

Normally, a seat belt would have retarded the retard's movement, but this time the the outside force acting on that body in motion was his windshield. Guess who won? Well, it was a good fight, Mr. Dobb got in a few good licks and the windshield won't be going on dates any time soon, but utimately, Jim lost ultimately.

In the next roadside cross physics lesson we will learn about Christian Doppler and how his work applies to the screams of people who are thrown from their cars and past you. Be sure to bring your workbooks and calculators.

I'm surprised no one has thought of your excellent idea before. Sending a profanity filled email to jason@porkjerky.com wishing death upon me will definitely change my holocaustal ways.
There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.