There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.
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Let's not lose sight of the true meaning of what these retards are trying to do by erecting a shitty cross on an interstate. As much as I poke fun, they do stand for something. They make us remember the man who sacrificed and worked endlessly to make all of this possible. They make us reflect for a moment and give glory to a man, who was just flesh like you and I, but who enriched our lives infinitely. They make us remember who the real savior (at least to teamsters) is: Dwight D. Eisenhower.

Suppose he never signed the Interstate Highway Act. Where would all these dumbfucks, drunks and just plain shitty drivers go to kill themselves and others? Without Ike's dedication to buliding a national highway system there would be no medians for them to cross at 100 mph before they wipe out a family on vacation, no drainage ditches for people to drown in, no embankments to fly off of and no concrete bridge pillars to splat against.

So please, lets take a moment to thank Dwight D. Eisenhower the 34th president of the United States. Granted, coronary disease isn't as self-servingly theatrical as crucifixiction, but being able to travel from Dallas to Chicago in 12 hours sure beats the hell out of love, heaven and getting your ass out of bed early on Sunday.

In his name, amen.

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As openly a callous prick that I am, it amazes me that people still overestimate my ability to care or think that I value their opinions. Prove me right at jason@porkjerky.com.
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There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.