May Cause Early Onset Of Menopause (especially in men)

R.I.P.->Eulogizing An Unnamed Dumbass With Crap

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Dwight D. EisenhowerInterstate Highway Act
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Let's not lose sight of the true meaning of what these retards are trying to do by erecting a shitty cross on an interstate. As much as I poke fun, they do stand for something. They make us remember the man who sacrificed and worked endlessly to make all of this possible. They make us reflect for a moment and give glory to a man, who was just flesh like you and I, but who enriched our lives infinitely. They make us remember who the real savior (at least to teamsters) is: Dwight D. Eisenhower.

Suppose he never signed the Interstate Highway Act. Where would all these dumbfucks, drunks and just plain shitty drivers go to kill themselves and others? Without Ike's dedication to buliding a national highway system there would be no medians for them to cross at 100 mph before they wipe out a family on vacation, no drainage ditches for people to drown in, no embankments to fly off of and no concrete bridge pillars to splat against.

So please, lets take a moment to thank Dwight D. Eisenhower the 34th president of the United States. Granted, coronary disease isn't as self-servingly theatrical as crucifixiction, but being able to travel from Dallas to Chicago in 12 hours sure beats the hell out of love, heaven and getting your ass out of bed early on Sunday.

In his name, amen.

Again, all hate mail goes to jason@porkjerky.com and as you write, keep telling yourself that your opinion counts and that you can make a difference.