So Funny You'll Snort Milk Up Your Nose

R.I.P.->Eulogizing Stephanie With Shit

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Memorial For Stephanie

The only thing worse than a plain white shitty cross with one crappy plastic flower and nothing to identifiy who died there is an overly decorated white shitty cross with tons of plastic flowers and a fucking resume attached. You can't read it from the pic, but the world lost a gem when Stephanie got plastered against those rocks. She enjoys being in band, cheerleading, not wearing seat belts, being on student council, driving fast, youth church group and *NSYNC.

Or maybe its a personal ad because It also says she was a 17 year old naturally blonde Aries. Unfortunately for potential employers and necrophilic suitors, she has no last name nor contact information, but salary is negotiable and she is "open to whatever happens between us--friends or more! :) ".

Direct all hate mail to jason@porkjerky.com and remember to attach naked pictures of your grandmother to guarantee a quick response. The more pink the better.