Are you as excited as I am? That's right it's finally here--. If you've been a good patriot this year, paid your taxes on time and belong to a cult that does smart things like make you pretend you're eating your savior's body and drinking his blood instead of stupid cult stuff like praying in a certain direction 5 times a day; then maybe, just maybe, this year Uncle Sam will slip down your chimney and leave presents under your flagpole. Be sure to set out a plate of apple pie for him and throw down some birdseed for the eight bald eagles pulling his Humvee. Thomas Jefferson bless us everyone!
As always, porkjerky.com goes dark for 9/11 so get your fill now.

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R.I.P.->Immortalizing Allison Pangborn With Crap

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Don't Take My Word For It.
Here Are My Sources For
Allison Pangborn

Online Article Richmond Daily News Cached Obituary

If the war on innocent people who occasionaly smoke pot wasn't so succesful at keeping our jails full and supplying our nation with nearly free labor to clean the interstates, this would be an excellent idea. Suppose a law is passed requiring the family, friends, murderers, etc. of people who die in auto accidents to adopt and clean up the neighboring half mile stretch of road where they died. Then A: Our highways and roadways would be more clean. B: Littering would be more fun. 3: People would drive more carefully (yeah and abstinence-only education keeps horny teens from fucking). And D: It would make my job of tracking down stories to go along with these fucking pics a lot more easy.

Of course, when accidents occur in shitty rural towns with newspapers that are irregularly churned out by a housewife who bought some desktop publishing software circa 1994, the whole name doesn't do me much good.

Here's what I found out from researching Allison Elizabeth Pangborn's name: she died.

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