Are you as excited as I am? That's right it's finally here--. If you've been a good patriot this year, paid your taxes on time and belong to a cult that does smart things like make you pretend you're eating your savior's body and drinking his blood instead of stupid cult stuff like praying in a certain direction 5 times a day; then maybe, just maybe, this year Uncle Sam will slip down your chimney and leave presents under your flagpole. Be sure to set out a plate of apple pie for him and throw down some birdseed for the eight bald eagles pulling his Humvee. Thomas Jefferson bless us everyone!
As always, porkjerky.com goes dark for 9/11 so get your fill now.

Porkjerky.com

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R.I.P.->Memorializing Mark Simmons, Tabitha Jordan & Burak Acar With Shit

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Don't Take My Word For It.
Here Are My Sources For
Mark Simmons, Tabitha Jordan & Burak Acar

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What the fuck did I just say? Are you people not paying attention? Do they not get the internet in Ray County Missouri? After seeing the last 2 crosses you really have to ask, "What the fuck where those kids thinking by driving on the correct side of Highway 210?"

"What the fuck were those kids thinking by not wearing their seatbelts?", might be a better question though. On 3/13/2004 around 11 p.m. Lincoln Carty crosses the center line and hits the car Mark Simmons, Tabitha Jordan and Burak Acar were seatbeltlessly travelling in. Then to add insult to death, along comes a 3rd car and nails Carty's car. That driver wasn't injured, but Carty, Simmons, Jordan and Acar were all pronounced dead on the scene.

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Again, all hate mail goes to jason@porkjerky.com and as you write, keep telling yourself that your opinion counts and that you can make a difference.