The Turkey Baster Tribulations

Oh my god I was so blind. They aren’t completely vapid. Blogs aren’t as worthless as tits on a retard. They are as fun as tits on a retard. It’s all about perspective. I couldn’t see the pussy for the vulva. Today though, I was able to take a step back and finally realize the […]

Baby Placebos

Whenever I am out taking the dog for a shit in someone else’s yard and pass a couple, both of whom are over 30, and they are walking more than 1 dog, I always try to figure out which one is infertile. Its got to be her. The bitch has ribbons on, the male has […]

You can't crap any more without turning around and seeing a turd with 2 american flags sticking out of it. All this kitschy, pretentious pseudo-patriotism makes my rectum seep.