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R.I.P.->Memorializing Patricia Innis Henneken With Shit

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Patricia Innis Henneken
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Memorial For Patricia Innis Henneken

First of all, I don't know if people are born that way because of some genetic abnormality or if its learned. Maybe its a combination of both. And I'm not passing judgement, nor saying people like that are wrong or going to hell. It's definitely something I'm glad I'm not, but I'm not going to make any hackneyed jokes or denigrate them for the way the way they live their lives. However, I do feel its my duty to let people know that this cross's story just might turn them republican.

You've been warned.

At about 1:30 am on 5/29/2006 Patricia Henneken was coming home from that Walgreen's where she was getting her sick son some medicine. At about 1:30 am on 5/29/2006 Javier Rico had a .234 blood alcohol level and was doing between 70 and 100 mph while fleeing from the cops. At about Golf and Burlington in Shaumburg, IL Javier Rico blew through a red light and slammed into Henneken killing her.

Now we come to the part where I build up how horrible his jail sentence was by telling you background facts that you'd think a judge would find relevant. I already told you the part where he had a blood alcohol of over .23 and he killed a woman getting her sick son some medicine. Now let me fill in what that asshole had done before that night.

At the time of the accident, Javier Rico was an illegal alien. Hold on, Mr. Limbaugh, that's just my opener. That was the tame one. Worse, so much worse. At the time of the accident while being an illegal alien, Javier Rico had already been convicted of a DUI. Nope, don't join the Minute Men yet, there's more. At the time of the accident, while being an illegal alien and convicted of a DUI, Javier Rico was awaiting trial for yet another DUI. Nope, not yet, one more. At the time of the accident, while being an illegal aliean, convicted of one DUI, awiting trial on another; Javier Rico had jumped bail for that last DUI.

Okay, now you can let out that string of "Fucks" you'd been holding back.

Wait, hold onto a few "fucks"; I forgot to tell you about his sentence: 8 years. But not for murder. Nope he pled guilty to aggravated driving under the influence of alcohol involving a death. So, basically the death was parenthetical, sure it made things worse, but his crime was basically a very bad DUI.

Javier Rico is the type of Mexican your racist great aunt warned you about. I geniunely think he was the poster child for that wall they wanted to build in Arizona. He hits all the boxes: Illegal Immigrant: check. Drunk Driver: check. Bail Jumper: check. Flees from cops: check. Killed good looking suburban white mom: check.

I joked about turning you into a republican at the beginning of this page, so I think I have to add something now about not jumping to conclusions about a whole group of people because of just one member of that group. So, please, while this story involved one drunk-driving illegal mexican who was a murdering piece of shit, that doesn't mean all drunk driving illegal mexicans are murdering pieces of shit. Some drunk-driving illegal mexicans go to work day in and day out, inebriated to the gills, and never murder anyone. A lot of drunk driving illegal mexicans are perfect neigbors, upstanding non-citizens and true assets to their communities. Keep that in mind the next time you happen upon a drunk-driving illegal mexican. Let's not this one instance prejudice the way we think about all drunk-driving illegal mexicans.

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