Are you as excited as I am? That's right it's finally here--. If you've been a good patriot this year, paid your taxes on time and belong to a cult that does smart things like make you pretend you're eating your savior's body and drinking his blood instead of stupid cult stuff like praying in a certain direction 5 times a day; then maybe, just maybe, this year Uncle Sam will slip down your chimney and leave presents under your flagpole. Be sure to set out a plate of apple pie for him and throw down some birdseed for the eight bald eagles pulling his Humvee. Thomas Jefferson bless us everyone!
As always, porkjerky.com goes dark for 9/11 so get your fill now.

Porkjerky.com

A Grown Assed Website

Updates Random Free Shit R.I.P. Omniscience Privacy Notice Gallery

R.I.P.->Honoring An Anonymous Speedbump With Litter

Next Cross -->
<-- Prior Cross
R.I.P. Main Submit A Cross Make Your Own Roadside Memorial

Don't Take My Word For It.
Here Are My Sources For
An Anonymous Speedbump

South Dakota North Dakota

I came upon this memorial while driving on I-29, which, if I had been carjacked by a clinically depressed, homeward bound sioux indian, I could take all the way to South Dakota. As we all know, South Dakota has made its claim to fame as being the state south of North Dakota; which conversely, is famous for being the state north of South Dakota.

Further, South Dakota is the state of origin for that banged up license plate in the photo. Other than that, I don't have any evidence (which has never stopped me from passing anything off as fact before), but I think that this is a memorial for yet another in the many "family suicides" we hear about taking place in the Dakotas. Obviously, they were returning home to South Dakota when they all realized that they were returning home to South Dakota. Every parent wants their children to have it better than they themselves did.

So, these South Dakotan parents turned to the only thing that would give their children that: Oncoming traffic.

<-- Prior Cross

R.I.P. Main

Next Cross -->

Send hate mail, death threats and proof of your illiteracy to jason@porkjerky.com. Remember, 'Fuck you.' is a complete sentence; 'You infected ass-polyp' is just a fragment.